Ever feel like you just don’t..connect?

I’ve been in Spain now for about a week or so, and I’m coming home in a few days. But for a while now I’ve started to feel as if I’ve stopped really connecting with people. I’ve lost whatever I had before that made people want to talk to me. I don’t like it, but I guess it’s life. People dislike you, people won’t change, and you can’t change them. Well, I disagree with that actually, you can change them; I just can’t.Once again I’ve started thinking how life is life, you live and breathe. You carry on the human race, you’ve done your duty, and then it’s over for you. The wisest people are those that choose to end it sooner to prevent having to deal with the confusion around what the point to their living is. I guess this sounds really sad, and probably pathetic, but hey, it’s my blog and it’s how I feel..not like you ever made one.. (Dislaimer: You probably have.)

I don’t understand why it’s been happening. I wish it would stop but it won’t. Nothing is pulling me out of feeling down, and depressed and I just wish, and hope that once I leave home next year, things will turn around for me. I can’t bear living with who I live with, people who disagree and spectate every single move you make. People that won’t let you be who you are, people that will so easily just tell you your own beliefs are wrong. Maybe living apart from these people will help me to grow as a person, grow the part of me that was stopped when it all began. That is, the shite in life that I shan’t dwell upon. Everyone has their problems, there’s no point in wallowing and making a big deal about it. I don’t find this to be making people feel sorry for me, and whatever because you choose to read this. I don’t shout it in your face.

To close, I’m pretty messed up in my head right now, and it doesn’t look like things are going to change.