Do we all live off affection?

 When someone comes along and seems to be genuinely interested in you, why do you somehow manage to ruin it?

This being a question that’s been dawning upon me over and over again, everytime I get just a little interested in someone, I’m choosing to publicize it, and ask everyone for their opinions. I’ll elaborate on my story, not naming names.

A few weeks ago I stumbled across MySpace Trains, i.e. a scheme a lot of sad, lonely people get involved with in order to up their friend-count on MySpace, obviously making them feel much more “special” because they have “oh so many friends”, or just a general way of meeting someone. My story continues through the second pathway.

I was adding all the people on numerous trains to see how many good looking guys I could find that are actually genuine and wondered whether or not something more could extend from “just another internet relationship”. Then I came across him, a guy that I looked at with awe, yet wondered why he was actually even speaking to me, someone that good could never possibly want to get involved with someone like me.  It wasn’t re-assurance to feel deceptively bad about myself, this for me, was facing facts – nothing’s going to happen.

So we talked for hours and hours on MySpace with mass messages getting to know each other to the extremes, he was great, as well as just having the looks, what more could you ask for? To me, he was the type I could spend hours on hours with just to be with, it was odd how fast I gave into having slight feelings for him.

Then he popped the question to ask for my mobile phone number, feeling that he was living close to me, and that it was much more realistic than looking for someone perfect that lives countless miles away, I thought why not? I gave him my number. The next day, he text me and seemed oh so very happy to just even text me, and I was amazed at how someone like him hadn’t already gotten bored of me, this didn’t make sense to me, but I figured I could either sit there are speculate why the hell he’s bothering with me, or I can actually enjoy this. I messaged him back, and then he replied, then I replied and so on, for hours, great conversationalist, indeed. The next day he even phoned me, it was so clear that we clicked instantly because our first phone call was 2 hours long, and there was no moment when there was an awkward silence. For a few days there wasn’t a day where there was no phone calls, it was so amazing, I’d never had something like that with someone I’d never met before, or for that matter, anyone. When something like this happens, you just start to think to yourself, “How can something so perfect for me, just exist, and be thinking the same back about me?”.

We planned on meeting up. I was going there, catching the train at 8am, meaning I had to wake up much earlier to get ready. Meeting someone like him was something special for me, I had to make a BIG impression, this wasn’t just anyone. Everything was going smooth, I was ready to catch the train, in about 10minutes on the big day, and he text me saying he had to cancel. I was pissed to the extreme about this, and hung around town just trying to cheer myself up, friends all being good to me saying they’re there for me when I’d just been “stood up” even though to be honest, I didn’t see it as standing me up. I got over it, it was a mistake, and things would blow over.

Then one day, the phone call was just 5 minutes long, and later he said he forgot to call back, so so, I wasn’t going to make a big deal, because it wasn’t one, only it made me a little sad that I didn’t get to talk to him, but whatever, stop floating around it. The next day, there was no call, and thereafter, there was never another call. He said he had a massive assignment or whatever it was, and we didn’t even talk for two days. I mean obviously, I naturally text him a few times in that period, and messaged him on MySpace, nothing. After the two days, I tried to talk to him on MSN, he replied, finally! We had a decent conversation for two and a half hours, great right? Well obviously not because that’s the last time we really spoke, I’ve text him over and over, he’s ignored it.

Then yesterday, we were supposed to be giving meeting up another shot. He left it until an hour before he was supposed to get here, and text with “I’m sick, nuuh” so yeah I was hurt, because I was obviously tricked into thinking I was worth anything to be honest, but I chose to put it to the back of my head because I was with people..and I wasn’t likely to get stressed over it, I’m not like that.

Went for coffee with a couple of other gays, and just had a good chat I guess, though I was clearly a little low, but you know why, and I couldn’t get the thought out of my head, so I left and caught a bus to go home for a lonely night that should’ve been something special, for me at least.  When I was on the bus I decided to stop being a compete doormat, and text him with “Am I just wasting my time here?” there was no reply..ever, until earlier today I spoke to him on msn, and asked him why he hadn’t replied, he dodged the whole question and rushed off.

So that’s my story, a boring one, a meaningless one. I guess I’ve learned something here though; never let your feelings or interests get lost into cyberspace, it’s almost guaranteed to piss in your face in return.  But this still brings me to the question: Do we all live off affection? Maybe I was expecting too much from him, maybe I was too up-front? But that’s who I am. I don’t know what I did, I don’t know if I’m just once again getting thrown in the bargain bin after I’m used and damaged goods. It’s happened before, he assured me it wouldn’t happen this time. Fat chance, you’re a stupid boy, and you don’t deserve to have anyone, that’s what he really said.

The day I start to get interested seriously into someone online again, someone slap me, and tell me to just shut the fuck up.

MyLife – MySims

 

I’m aware that a lot of people have been commenting on the fact that the fall 2007 Wii & DS exclusive hit-to-be MySims is aimed at ages 3-10yrs, my comment to that being: “Total bogus”.  Let me put a few things straight here:

•  Chibi-style characters are extremely popular in Japan, and considering that MySims was created in EA’s branch in Japan, this would explain why this style of play character has been chosen.
• The  removal of motives such as hunger, entertainment needs and social desirability have indeed been scrapped for new “objective-based” gameplay, though this doesn’t mean that it’s because younger children can’t comprehend the logics around motives, but more so that EA have realized that the “daily routine” effect that crops up on every Sims game needs to be tackled in some way, and objective-based gameplay is clearly the way forward here. And for the DS, let’s face it, wouldn’t you rather have objectives to complete rather than telling your Sims where to excrete while you’re on the go? Something you can save and come back to later, that isn’t just reliving your life in CGI?
• MySims is not a replication of Animal Crossing: Wild World, indeed the ideas behind the game seem to be more as it were AC:WW-esque, although since when do you save a failing village, build a family, and talk to characters who don’t have fur on AC:WW?

I think I have pretty much outlined all of the disputes that have cropped up whilst I’ve been browsing through gaming forums in relation to EA’s MySims, and I hope for all of you that have problems with the game, or it’s supporters, there’s a formulated response for you to choke on.

Thanks for reading